The Lord comes in His time; we just have to be patient.
Looking back after that weekend, I could already see how God was preparing me for something very special. I also know that the enemy was trying to keep me from going, when I started feeling that I didn’t want to go. St. Ignatius teaches us to discern sudden changes of heart, especially those that are good. Praise God, I followed through in going.
The weekend began with Mass on Friday night. During the Mass, I had noticed a priest, Fr.Jilto; I had never met him before but, I could feel there was something special about him. Later that evening, we were told that we could sign up for Spiritual Direction. Though I had participated in many retreats before, I never felt compelled to go for Spiritual Direction. This evening was different; I signed up but I felt a little uneasy not knowing with whom I would speak. While sitting with others who were also waiting for their turn, my mind was running through what I wanted to talk about. Time ran out for us that evening so we had to try again on Saturday.
On Saturday morning, unlike the night before, I was taking in the retreat when my friend told me it was my turn to go for Spiritual Direction; I hadn’t prepared myself. I opened the door and saw Fr. Jilto standing at the back of the room looking at me as I entered. He seated me and asked for my name then he then began to pray, 3 Hail Mary’s. I thought I was to join him in praying, but he just asked me to listen. He then said to me, “You have a great devotion to Mary.” I told him that I didn’t always, with deep regret in my voice. He then said, ‘Do not look at your past, it has been crucified to the Cross with Jesus…The Blessed Mother is holding your hand and she said the Rosary is your protection...’
I found it profound that he knew all that I was feeling, and at that moment, I knew that the Lord was speaking to me through him.
God is always there for us directing and leading us home. May His will reign on Earth and in all souls. FIAT! Shalom Retreats are incredible and grace filled!
